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#22 Drowning Street

A Plodding Account of Gallantry and Semantics

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Turtle Hero
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Because We Are Turtles

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.






Ivn is typical.

Ivn hates his name. His mother never had an explanation as to why she gave him such a strange word to put on a name plate. What he hates more are people who mistakenly pronounce it, immortal pet fucking peeve. A quick lesson:



Ivn Manahan
[I•vín Ma•na•han]



Ivn, like most of us are, hates it when things become mainstream. Because he is selfish and because he himself is secretly mainstream and likes that space only for himself. Ivn is trying to quit smoking (partly because it's mainstream and partly because he is, at this time, dying from smoking too much). Although, he’s been told to be the last smoker on earth to have the knack to quit. He still tries, if it's any consolation.

Ivn is good at almost everything but is best at procrastinating and whistling loudly (and snapping, too!) He believes that the world is a big school with no one but teachers who teaches each other. He believed this so much that instead of quitting smoking, he quitted real school instead. Now a college drop-out, Ivn spends most of his time biting his nails, or other people's heads off.

Ivn was manic-depressive. And for that, he needed to see a shrink on a regular basis, reversely sending his sanity to the wheelie bin. A bid on suicide almost took his life once. He’s been referred to as "wasak" by many of his friends. That is until he found the love of his life.


Ivn is atelophobic, bufonophobic, dementophobic, hagiophobic, monophobic, poinephobic. Bet you want to go phobiaphobic on him now, do you? His favorite is cacophobia. But that is typical of him. Ivn was a hater, until he saw Daniel Vinyard get killed.

Ivn will die of a gunshot. How does anyone know? Well, they just do. Ah, a gunshot and/or cancer of whatever. Those, or the earth will open and eat his lazy ass alive. You'll all see.

Ivn is on middle grounds of solutions and complications. The tendency he has go far as the heavens and near as the microbes in your skin. But, he is very predictable to the very least. To himself, that is. Ivn is also almost always under the influence of fill-in-the-blank.

If you say "fo-shizzle" in front of Ivn, he will kill you, with his bear hands. Unless you have good reasons (unfortunately he gets to decide what's good), don't even think about showing culture-pretense to his face. Or sing lines from anything sung by Snoop Dogg and his likes. For he will kill you in a snap of a finger, again, with his bear hands. Ivn thinks he was a hater until he realized how there's too much needling in this world not to hate. He can be very very very conflicting, I shit you not.

Ivn is yet to see his biological father in-skin. If you've seen him (the biological father), let him (Ivn) know.

Ivn is the God of himself. Ivn knows no holy ghost and believes Jesus is just as human as him, only perpetuated by ordinary people and is extremely more popular than he will ever be. Ivn is over debating on religion. He says it's just not worth it.

Ivn is happy. Love makes him happy and he asks the world to respect the sacredness of love and its entire dogma, even the word itself. It is every inch worthy of everyone's respect. Because love consumed Ivn. Consumed Ivn. Consumed him.

You see, Ivn is very typical. In this universe, he very well is.








WEENIE IN A BOTTLE

And when the moon is full,
he turns into a 12-year old cheerleader
who deals with puberty.







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